One day, I watched a young child standing on the turned-over rocking boat (now a bridge) in The Parenting Place’s Children’s room trying earnestly to attract her mother’s attention, with a seemingly significant message to deliver. Her mother, however, was in sight but not close by, busily involved and not able to respond at the moment.
That, however, did not deter this focused little one from calling out to her – repeatedly. She desperately wanted, needed to show/tell/share something of great importance with her mom.
Right about this time, another little child, tired of waiting for her turn to go up the steps and stand on the bridge, just decided to go for it. The first little child shoved her and then the tears flowed.
The mom of the young child who pushed was upset with the way the morning ended and with her child’s behavior. As parents, it’s hard not to take our child’s behavior personally, to be embarrassed, especially in public.
But, for a child of that age, it’s difficult if not impossible, to independently allow another child to have a turn while her own passionate need remained unfulfilled.
Our children’s behavior is a work in progress.
It does not define who our child is – or will be.
Understanding this concept and trusting in it , we can, as Polly Berrien Berends says, ” believe in our child’s genuine goodness even as we go about taking care of the situation at hand – knowing that our child’s goodness is never the issue – even behavior is not the issue – learning is.”……