I talked with a mom recently that had some concerns about her 3-year-old son. She said she’d been wanting to arrange a time to come in to discuss what was going on with him, but their life has been so incredibly crazy for the past few months, there was no time.
What resonated for me immediately while listening to this mom was not the concerns she had for her little guy, but the craziness she referred to that was fueling their lives.
When routines are out the window, work is on overdrive, packing up and moving to a place temporarily before moving again in two months to a more permanent residence, disruptions and anxieties can make all of these family members be off balance.
This situation made me think of a favorite quote by Polly Beriens Berends – “What governs the parent, governs the child”.
For these particular parents, there was much chaos, stress and fatigue going on. And, in turn, their 3-year-old was acting out the strong, upset feelings he could not put into words.
When situations arise in families and life seems particularly off kilter (which it will occasionally), this is a time we need to breathe deeply, give everyone a bit more rope, try to find moments of serenity even in the midst of turmoil, and look for simple ways to connect with each other.
I think about this time of year with the gardening season going strong. I overheard a few people conversing that their peas were terrible this year and even their tomato plants were doing poorly. What could be wrong?
Both of these gardeners were trying to figure out what their plants needed – was it poor environment, insufficient nutrition, too much of this, too little of that? What do these plants need in order to thrive?
When our children are acting out and displaying challenging behavior, it’s helpful, as in gardening, to check their environment, to discover what might be missing. What does this particular child need, how can we nurture and connect?
What does he need in order to thrive?
And then watch him bloom.
If you are having questions about your child’s behavior and are wondering what might help him/her bloom, give me a call at The Parenting Place, 784-8125, and we’ll figure it out together.