We watch our children develop and grow and it is such a wonder. I love when parents share with me their child’s new developments, latest stages, creative tricks.
But every once in a while, I get to hear about a parent’s personal growth, understanding, realization – and that is always especially meaningful.
For just as our children are learning and developing daily, monthly, yearly – so are we as parents.
I talked to a mom recently who has two children – always a very conscientious woman – who, as she told me, read parenting books continually. Until, she says, she reached a point where she feels able to trust herself – her own parenting instincts – her own development – to read her children more and the parenting books less.
She feels more secure paying attention to her own judgment and experience to know when her children’s behaviors demand a limit from her . She understands when they are looking for that calm but firm and confident assurance of “stop”, “I won’t let you”, “no thank you”, “not today” that helps a child feel secure and embraced.
As parents we come to our personal parenting styles in our own time – in our own ways.
But we all get there.
And when we do arrive – its a settled feeling, a more relaxed but knowing feeling. It doesn’t mean we don’t still question, puzzle, worry at times – but we rely on what we know about our children and how we want to relate to them.
We pay attention to our own parenting instincts.
We’ve reached the well-seasoned parenting stage – and we’ve earned it.