Daily Archives: June 10, 2019

eye check

This morning I happened to hear a brief interview with Andre De Shields, a 73-year-old Broadway Veteran actor who won his 1st Tony award last night.

And I mention this because when they asked him about his success, one of the things he shared was “Surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when they see you coming.”

And I thought – of course – for all of us – wouldn’t that be lovely?

But, for our children, wouldn’t that be exceptional?

When children feel positive about their significance, about our caring,  about our interest in them –  without any doubt – just by the way we listen to them, respond to them, look at them,  our connection with them is secure.

Because our eyes say it all.

Imagine talking to someone who doesn’t look up from what they are doing, reading, texting – whose eyes are only full on and direct when you are being scolded.

As parents, we are always searching for the most perfect method of parenting to get our children to listen to us, obey us and stop doing this or that. But sometimes that’s what misbehavior is all about – seeking that warm acknowledgment – that feeling  “I’m listened to – fully “ that “I matter”  –  “eyes light up when they see you coming” feeling.

So… try it.

We could all stand to take an “eye check” today.

Make it a point to respond to your child with strong eye contact when he/she is speaking to you, when he/she is coming to you.

I’m betting you’ll see success.


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