Monthly Archives: December 2019

an empty bucket

How many times have you heard it?  “I can’t do it!  I need help!” Really – how many times have you heard them say “It’s too hard.”

But you know they can do it, right?   (whatever “it” is).  They’ve been doing it all along.

But not this day – and sometimes not this week.

So …what’s the answer- besides insisting, ignoring, yelling, losing patience – tears, anger  – and then resorting to doing  it for them anyway.

How about when a particular behavior pattern like this happens  – we take another tactic. For when a good child repeatedly resists following through like this, I believe his “bucket is empty”.

She’s overtired, hungry, stressed, dis-regulated, discouraged.

And so – I’m suggesting offering help before this melt-down begins.

Parents usually have radar about their child’s moods. So if you need to leave the house in five minutes and you see your child’s boots still not on his feet – how about offering a helping hand.

“Here – let me help you with your boots.” And do so – gently – not roughly. This is an offer of love – not one of impatience and frustration.

Try this tactic for a few days – a week – at the times you suspect your child’s mood is off.

Don’t qualify it with “you should be doing this on your own.  Look at your brother. He’s got his boots on already!

No –  as I said – this is an offer of love – and acceptance – and given gently.

I believe you’ll notice a difference in behavior – in disposition – in a light in his eye.

I believe you’ll see him  doing it on his own –  with new spirit – once his” bucket ” is full.

For sometimes – we all just need a little helping hand.

Sometimes – we all just need an extra dose of love.




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let’s sing

What a good idea we had heading down to The Rotary Lights parade the day after Thanksgiving.

The rain/snow had held off – the temperature was mild, and the crowds were festive, the paraders bright and merry, and a definite sense of community was in the air.

Standing next to us were three families who had come down together to watch the parade.  There had to have been seven children between 4-5 years of age and a few toddlers and a baby.  They arrived about fifteen minutes before the parade began, excited with their candy bags in the ready

But when you’re eager for a parade to start, it can seem like it takes forever.  But I was impressed.  Instead of waiting for this row of young ones to break line and fall apart, their moms said “let’s sing”.

And sing they all did – Jingle Bells, Frosty the Snowman, We wish you a Merry Christmas and others.

It was magical – because this was some serious singing – the children sang out along with their moms.

So hats off to these families who proactively brought cheer and delight to all those standing nearby – the moms who were on the ready and shared with their children the fun of singing together.

It definitely lit up the night!
















But when you’re waiting for a parade to start,

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